Confessions of a Harried Housewife, Chapter III

So, I pretend like I have this thriving, ubiquitous blog readership that anxiously awaits each installment of my lil' pet, Harried Housewife chronicles. This dilusion actually brings me quite a large amount of joy. I told one of the 4 members of my blog fan club today that I was going to be posting a CHH (that's txt abbr for Confessions of a Harried Houeswife) like it's this fabulously awaited event and she's was like, "I'll totally be checking!". Wow. Thanks Liv for allowing me that brief moment of basking in my own spotlight. As always (always being the last two chapters)I will need to give you a little background into my previous life as a PTA mom. It will be a VERY brief history.

When we lived in the NW, I served on the PTA board for 2 years. For someone lacking the ability to say the word "no" to those in need (or pretending to be) this was a very unwise position to be in. I spent hours and hours of my time at the school and supporting the school that were absolutely spent on worth while projects and undoubtably benefited the school tremendously. One person can make a difference, people, I totally believe that. However, the problem I did not forsee was that the time I would spend helping out at the kid's school, would not be directly spent with my kids. Nobody in our household really benefitted from the time I donated. Try explaining volunteer work for "The Greater Good" to a Kindergartener. In the end, I decided that any PTA work I did in the future would be on the classroom level ONLY. I'd been on a ROLL with my "Room Mom Only" mantra for about 18 months. Feeling really good about it, too! Well, my poor neighbor is on the direct path to Room-Mom-Only-hood this year, my loyal readers. To protect her identity, we will call her Lisa and bless her soul, she is a right good person! She willingly agreed to chair our school's RenFest (no mere carnival for the Noble Knights of Blanton Elementary!) and it's a big job. Everything's big in Texas. Have I mentioned that in previous blogs? Well you've surely heard, whether from me or some other brilliant source. We aren't just talking cars, football, and hair. We are talking PTA, volunteer work, and school functions. So the Renfest is a huge undertaking that we are estimating will cost no less than 10K to do right (and big). Lisa is about the most upbeat, kind-hearted, smilin' all the time gal a woman could hope for as a neighbor. The drawback-it's pretty much impossible to say no to her for someone like me. Of course she needs help with this project because it's like putting on a huge festival for a town not just a school. In a weak moment, I agree to chair the Corporate Sponsorship sub committee. In lay-speak, this pretty much means The-Begging-Local- Businesses-for-Money committee. I know, it's so not me. It's so not the kind of job you want to give someone who will take no for an answer the first time. And yet, here I be. Lisa, if you're reading this (cuz it's uber popular now), I love you and you should take none of this personally.

It all began here....
Step one in my money-grubbing plan of attack: send out sponsorship letters to at least 400 local businesses asking quite politely for Renfest money in return for advertisement at Renfest. I start this task by web researching local businesses for my top 500 choices. I looked for businesses that do not offer a product because we will be soliciting those lucky folks for silent auction gift basket items! After I've compiled my list I began typing up all the address labels. This is time consuming, as you can imagine, and I spent quite a bit of time doing it. During one afternoon of mindless typing, the kids wanted to have neighbor friends over and I was fine with that....at first.

It's a good idea to check on your four-year-old regularly when they are playing alone or with others. It's an especially good idea to check on your four-year-old when things get really quiet. I'm typing and listening and hearing nothing so I decide it's a good time to check. I walk the 30 feet to Avery's room and what do I find? Her and her friend (we'll call her Claire-who is 6 and Lisa's daughter) are sitting on Avery's bathroom counter with a full sink of water, emptying hair detangler, hand soap, and Method bathroom cleaner into the mix. Our conversation plays out as follows:

Me: "What are you doing!!!!!
Avery and Claire simulatneously: "We're making stew."
Me: "Stew! Are you kidding me! This is a really bad choice, you guys! You can't just mix random cleaners and soaps and hair products together! It might be toxic! It could produce deadly fumes! Argh!
Claire: "We're just trying to have fun"
Me: "Ok, fun. Well there are lots of fun things to do in Avery's room, in the playroom, OUTSIDE...if you need help finding something fun, please let me know. In the meantime you guys are forbidden to go into the bathroom for anything but toilet use."
Avery: "Sorry, mom."
Me: "Ok, me too, now go play."

typing, typing, typing, typing, typing, typing, typing, typing, typing, typing, typing, typing........
15 minutes of typing pass by......

Addy: "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!! CLAIRE AND AVERY HAVE LOCKED THEMSELVES IN THE BATHROOM AND WHEN I ASKED THEM WHAT THEY WERE DOING THEY SAID 'something seeeeecrehhhhhhht!!!!!"

Crap. I'm gonna totally kick some butt. Why is it when you need your kids to be anxiously engaged in a good cause the most, the exact opposite happens? I race in there with my meanest mad face on and bang on the door till Avery opens it.

ME: "WHAT THE HECK!!! DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU GUYS THIS WAS NOT OK???"
Claire: "We're just making stew."
Avery: "Sorry, mom."
ME: "You are so busted, Avery, go to your room and I'll be back to deal with you in a second. Claire, get your shoes and socks on and head home. I'm totally calling your mom about this one."

Avery is sobbing and Claire is feeling embarassed and pretty much running for the door. Not only have they continued to spray Method bathroom cleaner into the "stew", but they were also spraying Windex, and adding a little Method toilet bowl cleaner as well. Sheeeesh! I was so angry. I couldn't believe that a) the two of them would deliberately disobey a direct order on such an important and potentially dangerous activity, that b) they found additional cleaning supplies in Avery's bathroom (usually they are only in Aidyn's and Addy's bathrooms but when Aidyn cleaned Avery's bathroom that week he left them under the sink) that c) this was happening a mere 15 MINUTES after the original incident!!! and that d) I hadn't checked her bathroom for cleaning supplies the first time around. Duh! My cool was beyond lost at this point. Avery get's a spanking for this one. She has maybe recieved 2 others in her lifetime but this situation definitely warranted a memorable paddle. After she has been punished, I close her door and lean up against it with a sigh. I hate making my kids cry. I walk down the stairs, call Lisa and inform her of the afternoon's activities. Claire went home and told her mom that she got in trouble for playing with water in Avery's bathroom. Not exactly. After our convo, I go back up to Avery's room and patiently talk to her about the bad choice she made and why it's dangerous blah blah blah. Here, she drops the bomb:

"Mom, will I be in more trouble if we tasted it?"

My eyes immediately bug out of my head and I feel a little bit whooosy. Isn't this every parents worst nightmare?

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN TASTED IT!!!!"

Ooops, I said that a little too loud, now she's crying again. I have to reassure her that, no, she won't be in trouble, but mommy REALLY NEEDS TO KNOW what she means by "tasted" and exactly how much she tasted. I carry her down to the kitchen, give her a glass of water, and start searching the phone book for Poison Control. While I'm doing this, Lisa calls and says that Claire has admitted to "tasting" the stew as well. She is apologizing over and over for her daughters behavior and I'm thinking..."Uhm, she's 6. It's totally my fault! I am the responsible adult! I let this happen under my roof!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!" So I start apologizing profusely and Avery is standing there, in the mean time, bawling,

"I don't want to die!".

My neighbor ends up calling poison control and to make this long story short, since there was very little cleaner and a lot of water, the girls should be fine. Evidently, "tasting" the stew meant dipping a little doll sized spoon in and then licking the spoon to see if the "flavor" was improving with each added element. Yummy. I really had to try to think like a 4 and 6 year-old to understand that thought process. A solid 10 days later, I am happy to report that both girls are fine and no one has died. Go me! So can YOUR kids come play tomorrow(:

This is "butt"

Here's a little funny diddy to brighten your day. I just love the funny things kids say. I wish I would have done a better job of writing down all the cute words and comments my kids said through the years. Not too late for Avery, though! So picture sweet Avery playing with her new store front she got from Santa. It's this cute little mini market with a cash register and food baskets and of course, play food. One of the food items is an empanada. For those of you who don't know what an empanada is, I have conveniently cut and pasted the Wikipedia definition below:

An empanada (not to be confused with the Portuguese empada, which is a different dish) is essentially a stuffed pastry. The name comes from the Spanish verb empanar, meaning to wrap or coat in bread.

To further your knowledge, Avery is holding her lil' play empanada in the picture below:



She fancies herself quite the pretend play chef and likes to shop at her store then come home to fix meals with her ingredients. This particular evening, she felt like cooking dinner for Aidyn, who was paying absolutely no attention to her whatsoever while watching an all encompasing episode of "Drake and Josh". Here is Avery's completely one-sided conversation:

"Aidyn, what do you want me to make you for dinner....pie or butt?"

(brief pause for response from Aidyn.........................................)

"This is butt."

Here she holds up her lil' play empanada. Kind of looks like a butt, right?
Ha! HAAAAA!!! HAAAAAAAAA!!!
Ok, it was so freakin' hilarious. I laughed for like 10 minutes. Are you feelin' it? Are you laughing histarically? Maybe you had to be here, but it was funny.

Top 10 Things I Learned and/or RElearned in 2008

10) Moving is hard. Moving twice within 1 year is painfully hard.
9) In the face of tragedy, strong faith and the support of those who love you are the balm that begin the healing process.
8) Women are, surprisingly, never too old to believe popularity matters.
7) Forgivness is not an action that requires two people.
6) Friends love you despite of who you are, not because of who you are.
5) Children can start to learn the value of hard work at the age of 3.
4) The most important item to consider when planning ahead is the end result of your actions.
3) My kids are amazing, resilient, examples that I learn from whenever I pay close attention.
2) No matter how hard one tries to do what's right, there will always be people who somehow see the wrong in their actions. (why! Why! WHY!!!) You just have to keep on, keepin' on.
1) Being loved by a man who is (almost) always right, is the biggest blessing in my life.

So, Happy New YEAR!!! Did you have a good holiday? We have had a very busy November and December. The jewelry business kicked into high gear the last 7 weeks and I have barely been able to keep my head above water. I finally ended up setting my Etsy shop to Vacation Mode because I was feeling overwhelmed and needed some time with my family. What a blessing it was to our family to have John home most of December!

On Christmas Eve we were invited to dinner at our friends, the Gibbons', home. We had a delicious meal, opened some traditional gifts and enjoyed an evening of game playing and good laughs. Starting over again in a new area for the second time in a year has been challenging for us all and we are so grateful to people like Becca and Randy who make an effort to reach out and pull us into this new ward family we have joined in Dallas. Christmas Day was actually very relaxing. After opening gifts, we stayed in our PJs for the day, did a little sleeping, had a yummy ham dinner, and spent quality family time together.

The last few days have been spent in Kansas City where we have been happily visiting friends and enjoying New Year festivities. The VanOrmans had a crazy fun party at their home last night where we were able to see many of our favorite friends. We played a little Rock Band, toasted 2008 babies born and conceived, healthy children, old friends, new friends, new jobs, loved ones, God, our country, and all good things, and just had an all around fabulous time.

We are thinking of all of our loved ones at this time and pray that God will bless you with good health, strong faith, and much prosperity this year. We love you!
Here's to your happiness!

Today, Aidyn got baptized.

Hi. It's me, Aidyn. Today I got baptized. I got baptized at my church. Now I'm a full member of the Chruch of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My family came to see the event. My mom, sisters, dad, Grandpa Ross, and Rich came to see me. Also, the Knights were there, Dallon and his mom, a girl from my Primary class named Maja Lorimer and my Primary teacher. There were some other people, too. And my Bishop. The water was warm and then it changed to cold, and it kept changing. It wasn't that deep. My dad baptized me and confirmed me. He only dunked me for about 2 seconds. When I came out of the water I felt like a new person. Now that I'm baptized and confirmed I have the Holy Ghost with me. The Holy Ghost helps me do the right things. That's all for now.

He is a man of few words, but perfect none the less. Aidyn has always been so easy going and good-natured. He's always been mom's special boy and we are really close. What a blessing it is to see my son make the choice to be baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Today while we were on the way to Costco to get his Baptism Cake (a family tradition) he talked to his Aunt Nuber on the phone. She asked him why he wanted to be baptized and Aidyn replied, "Because Jesus wants me to." I am grateful that he has such a desire to be like his older brother, Jesus Christ and to obey his Father in Heaven. I can't believe he is getting so big. Addy said the opening prayer, Grandpa Ross gave a wonderful message on baptism, Bishop Liddell talked about the attributes of the Holy Ghost, and Uncle Rich gave an extremely sweet closing prayer. Today was a day I will always cherish.

Dear Aidyn,

Today I felt the spirit as I watched you make one of the most important choices you will make in this life. I felt the spirit warm my heart and testify to me that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is on this earth, and that our Heavenly Father loves us. As your mother, I feel blessed beyond measure to be given the opportunity and challenge to raise you in these Latter Days. I promise you I will always do my best to teach you correct principles, and to give you the time, attention, and love you deserve. You are and always will be my most special boy. Thank you for being you.

Your Loving Mother,
Amy

We had a fun November. Madeline and Katie came down from Overland Park, KS to visit us the weekend before Thanksgiving. We did some shopping at the mall (which, shockingly, both Madeline and Addy love) and then went to the beloved Dallas World Aquarium on Saturday. These two cute and crazy girls stayed up til the wee hours of the morning chatting, gaming, and being best buds. We love those Connors! They are the best kind of people and ALWAYS welcome to come stay with us ANYTIME!!!

This past Tuesday, Aidyn had his first pack meeting with his new pack of cubs! He recieved his Bobcat award. We were so proud! He is very enthusiastic about Cub Scouts and is already making plans for which badges he wants to earn. It's like Pokemon, only real!

Progress

Oh yeah, it's fall. Time for pumpkin pie, football, leaf turning, long sleeves, family togetherness, and......swimming? If you live in Dallas, y'all, you betcher Long Horns and Levis! With the pool nearly finished, and the weather still between 75 and 80, the kids think it's time to don the suits and jump in for a splash. Our pool is in the final stages meaning it just needs to be filled up, cleaned up, and tested. When we got home from the Dr.'s today (flu shots, yippy!), Addy and Aidyn ran out to watch the mesmerizing water-filling. Oh the joy that water coming out of a hose brings to children. Come to think of it, I need to get one of those corded spayers for my shower...my kids would want to shower every night!!! The cleanliness!!!! Anyway, they both immediately started wading in the water and before I knew it, Aidyn was pulling on his swim trunks and slapping on his goggles. Let me point out that the water is only about 1 foot deep right now. But that didn't stop him! Sometimes I watch my sweet children and wish I could get back some of that innocence that makes the simplest activity so exciting and fresh. Pause for nostalgic memory. I couldn't help but snap a few shots. Did you know it takes 24 hours to fill a pool up??? How crazy is that! I had no idea. BTW, Avery fell asleep in the car on the way home and was napping on the couch during the fun.

Speaking of the older A's, both of them brought home straight A report cards yesterday! I am so blessed to have kids who enjoy school and have a desire to do their best educationally. I thank my Heavenly Father for that every day. Addy's teacher told me at teacher conference last month that Addy actually reads at a high school level AND that in all his years of teaching 5th grade (9 to be exact) he has never had a student with her language and reading abilities. BOOOYAAAHHHH! Go Addy! Aidyn is also readying amazingly well. In second grade they chart student progress with each report card (we get 6 a year). The chart come home with the report card and shows progression starting from a 1st grade reading level up to a 5th grade reading level. Progress is charted by words read allowed per minute paired with accuracy. His teacher explained to me that upon his first reading, Aidyn had already scored off the chart so she would probably not send the chart home again. Redunant. I'm so proud of both of them. They are great kids and really, really try their best 99% of the time. Household opportunities to serve falling into the 1% best trying margin, and we are working to erase that percentage all together! Check out our pool progress! When are YOU coming over to swim?

Confessions of a Harried Housewife, Chapter 2

I am not perfect nor have I ever claimed to be (much). But sometimes, my behavior is so spectacularly un-stellar that I even disappoint myself. Now that the Inner-Circle has been enlightened on Monkeys and Ass-Goblins, I am confident that not much I say or do in the realm of non-mainstream disciplinary action for my children will surprise you. Today's incident will rate in the top 10 hall of fame Worst Moments of Child Rearing for me, myself, and I. Really, this Harried Housewife Moment ranks up there.

All weekend I was sick with a virus. John brought it home last week and was sick for a day. I get it and I'm nauseous for 4. Nice. Bitter. Saturday, I had committed to a shopping outing with Addy. With high hopes of mother/daughter bonding time, the two of us planned to head downtown and explore the posh Northpark mall sporting the likes of Oilily, Neiman Marcus, Salvatore Feragamo, Anthropologie, Armani Exchange, BCBG, Dooney and Bourke, Hannah Anderson, J.Jill, Urban Outfitters, William Sonoma, White House Black Market, and about a billion other tres fab stores that just oozed boutique-ee scrumptiousity (i made that up). Amy joneses for shopping trips of this caliber. Amy joneses for her daughters to jones for shopping trips of this caliber (okay, someday I hope to get to the point in my spiritual growth where I no longer jones for such trivial and materialistic placation-just not there yet). BTW my shopping weakness is the reason I have a lingerie collection rivalling any Victoria's Secret model's. Love is the only language John speaks after a 5 hour trip to a mall like this one and the receipts to make it reality. Ok, you are catching my drift. For me, this is a day made in heaven. And Addy was actually ecstatic! She wanted to go! She picked an outfit to wear the night before, she talked incessantly about it for several days, she was on fiya. I wake up Saturday morning and I'm fully afflicted; so miserable that I actually don't want to go shopping(shocking! I know!). Bitter. However, being the selfless mother that I am, I slap on my mall jeans, new Charlotte Reusse blouse, and spike heel boots, pop some Ibuprofin, program the tele-nav and we are off. Inevitably we have a fabulous time and spend way too much money (and I am frankly a little worried about that since John couldn't pay me ENOUGH money to don the lingerie later that evening in said stricken state). When we get home my head is ready to explode and not from uber shopping vibes. I feed the kids dinner, wash my face, and hit the sack. Oh yeah, first I studied my Primary lesson cuz I had to teach a CTR5 class the following morning in Primary. Ugh.

CTR5 class. This is my new calling. I love it! I love being in Primary-it is my favorite place to serve in the church. Watching the seeds of young testimony sprout is second to none. Because I have been traveling the last few weeks, I have missed my own ward meetings for 2 consecutive Sundays so even though I am sick-QUEASY sick-I will go to church and teach my class Sunday morning like a good Mormon girl. Isn't guilt grand? Of course, the whole morning I am a complete stink-pot, I am grumbly, I am bitter, I am exhausted. All I want to do is crawl back into bed with my puffy allergy face, my nausea, and my fatigue, pull the covers over my head and sleep the blessed sleep of the undead. I don't know how it works at your house, but at my house, I am the Sunday Morning Motivator. I get everyone up. I get the church clothes on the church goers. I get the breakfast on the table. I get the Stevens' train out the door. Yay me. If Amy doesn't set the alarm, we all stay home. Chalk that up to my sum-of-reasons-to-be-bitter for the weekend. Church is "fine"....accept I thought our Primary Program was the weekend B4. I told my kids not to worry about memorizing their parts cuz we would be in Kansas; I told the Primary Pres we wouldn't be there so not to plan on my kids or myself participating. Durning the presentation we sat in the foyer and listened to the beautiful music and I watched my poor sweet children singing the songs they had worked hard to learn all year...to themselves. Yay me. Sigh. After church, I went home and crashed for 3 hours. So tired. So annoyed. So bitter.

John wakes me up by climbing into bed and announcing it's "his turn". Turn? I didn't realize taking turns was part of the bargain when one of the two parties was SICK. I get out of bed (bitter bitter bitter) and head out to the kitchen to start dinner. Oh, and I still feel like crapola. After dinner, I have work to do. Yes, I typed work. It's the Sabbath and I am working and I will not pretend like that's unusual. Didn't I preface this post with "not perfect" verbiage? Don't JUDGE ME! My hobby is my job and I have an order to mail out that needs to be packaged. I also have some necklaces I have to redo because I strung them wrong in the first place. BITTER. At least I have Dexter to keep me company. Michael C. Hall, you rock my bloody world. Ha! John has sequestered himself in his man-room watching football, so I do the bedtime routine and get the kids down. BITTER. I think he might have helped a little...it's sort of a blur at this point and I would totally loose your sympathy if you start to think he was being in any way helpful, so let's just stick with me as the martyr here. The ailing martyr. I pack school lunches (bitter) and go to bed.

Monday morning, today, I wake up at 6:30, the usual time to get the kids up and ready for school. Bitter. John is gone by that time-he had an event in Houston with his team that was not rescheduable even for a sick wife. Later, I found out it was a golfing event. Bitter! Allergy face, nausea, fever and all, I get the kids ready, feed em', cloth em', make sure their faces are clean, their teeth are brushed, they have all the necessary paper work, and drive them to school. They are totally learning that I am ridiculously annoyable when ill. Does that stop them? Not really. The bitterness has hit an all time high. Since, being a woman I haven't completely processed my feelings of bitterness yet in an effort to evaluate them, I'm freaking DONE. I just want to go back to bed and wallow in my misery for an hour or two. Sick and me, we just don't get along. I don't have time to be sick. When I get back home, I get Avery breakfast (at this juncture I'd like to point out i got her EXACTLY what she asked for-make a note) I tell her to watch her shows for a little bit because mommy's sick and wants to lay down for a while longer; I drag myself to the guest bedroom. Oh! The guest bedroom, you ask? I can't sleep in my own bed because my sweet four year-old joined us in the middle of the night, then proceeded to PEE all over me and the sheets and the comforter at about 4 in the morning. Bitter!! I was doing laundry a lot earlier than I had planned. BITTER!!! The stink of pee and the feeling of nausea are not complimentary. The joys of motherhood, right? Ok, so I go to lay down and within 5 minutes, Avery is screaming she wants "BROWN CEREAL" (which translates to Cinnamon Life). "BROWN CEREAL BROWN CEREAL I WANT BROWN CEREAL MOM GET ME BROWN CEREAL DID YOU HEAR ME I WANT BROWN CEREAL WWHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET ME BROWN CEREAL ARE YOU COMING YET MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM I WANT BROWN CEREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!" Sigh. This stretches on for 10 minutes or so.

Me from the guest bedroom: "Avery, I am sick, I am tired, I've been peed on....I just want to rest for a little bit. Did you finish your breakfast, because if not, no brown cereal."

Avery from the family room: "I don't want this breakfast. I want brown cereal. COME AND GET ME BROWN CEREAL. BROWN CEREAL BROWN CEREAL BROWN CEREAL BROWN CEREAL BROWN CEREAL BROWN CEREAL." She's yelling this, hence the capitalization. I am thinking deliriously to myself, "Is she mocking me? Is that a sing-song cadence I am detecting in her mockage?? Is she part of the conspiracy striving to drive me absolutely mad?????!!!!"

Pulse.....is......excalating........skin.....is......turning...........green!!!

I am soooooooooooooooo DONE (and bitter). My heart is racing, my hands and legs are shaking, no amount of counting to 10 and taking deep breaths is going to stop me from making a major parenting faux pas at this juncture. Avery is still ululating (LOUDLY!) for brown cereal. I throw back the covers, leap out of bed, toss my sleeping mask across the room, and storm STORM out to the family room. I punch the tv off, and boy, looking back I am sure smoke was coming out of my ears. I grab my child by the arms hoist her into the air and scream,

"THERE WILL BE NO MORE BROWN CEREAL FOR YOU IN THIS HOUSE FOR THE REST OF MY GOD GIVEN LIFE!!!! BROWN CEREAL IS EVIL, BROWN CEREAL IS POOP, BROWN CEREAL BE DAMNED!!!! AND YOU ARE GOING TO YOUR ROOM FOR THE REST OF THE DAY YOUNG LADY! CAN'T YOU GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK! I WANT TO REST BECAUSE I AM SICK! SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK! AND YOU DON'T CARE! NOBODY CARES! (bitter) CURSE GERMS AND BROWN CEREAL!!!!AGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!"

I drag her up to her room (crying of course), toss her onto her bed, slam the door, and storm back downstairs where I first throw the sheets in the dryer and the comforter in the wash, then retrieve my sleep mask, and finally fall down on the bed. Huh. Immediately, I am sobbing. Wow. It is not very often that I am this completely ashamed of myself. How often do you dissolve into tears because you have acted like a complete schmuck to your 4 year-old? After about 2 minutes, I run up the stairs to Avery's room, nestle her into my arms and tell her how sorry I am.
"Mommy made a really bad choice to treat you that way. Mommy is feeling really sick, frustrated, and BITTER and I treated you badly because of it. That was wrong. That was a big gigantic mistake. I'm so sorry. Can you forgive me, Avery? I love you so much and I am so, so sorry."

Instantly, she forgives. Hugs, kisses, tickles, smiles, all of the good things that make parenting genuinely rewarding. I am always learning the most simple and yet completely profound lessons from my children. Forgive=Happiness

So if you are a woman, you have read this and are thinking, "Gosh, why are men so clueless? I mean when we are sick, they should pick up the slack. They should take care of the kids. They should do the laundry. They should cook the meals. They should get the kids up and ready for church and school. They should offer to teach the Primary lesson. They should wait on you, hand an foot, because that's what they would expect you to do! Where is the intuitiveness!!!???? Where's the homemade chicken soup!??!?!?!?!??

Indeed.

If you are a man, you have read this and are thinking, "Why didn't she just tell him what she wanted him to do?"

DOUBLE Indeed.

Fun Times in KC

Whew! It's been a busy past few weeks. The holidays are officially upon us, my friends. I spent the weekend before Halloween with my wonderful friends in Kansas City. Karina and I traveled to "Time Out For Woman" in Omaha and found the conference, frankly, a little dry. The conversation, food, shopping, and girl talk could not be beat, but having heard such good things about this traveling production, I can only describe our experience as, "The Not So Joyful, Kenneth Cope Show". Leading a Joyful Life is the actual theme for 2008 TOFW, but it was all pretty mundane info that I was not super inspired by. I wanted new and fresh! There were a few really great messages, stress on the few. I would like to mention highlights of the notes I recorded, but since Karina and I evidentally took EXACTLY the same handful of notes, you can totally go to her blog and read up. No need to be repetitive. Definitely check out Cherie Call, an up and coming LDS musician who's work is original and refreshing. DEFINITELY check out "The Parenting Breakthrough" a wonderfully insightful book by Merrilee Boyack (one of the speakers who could not be there, most unfortunately). Karina recommended her book to me and I have literally consumed it. She has an amazing program for training your children to be high functioning, confident adults that will change your life, and the lives of your children for the very best. Seriously, if you are a parent, do not miss this read. I will be posting pictures of the system our family has created from this book in the next couple of days. Prepare to be inspired!

Karina was a great hostess and it was so much fun to stay at her home with her great family for the weekend. I got to see many of my favorite friends and I really, really enjoyed myself. Weekends with the girls are much needed and so few and far between.

Halloween weekend was also spent in KC! This time, the whole family ventured up to the Sunflower state for good times with friends, parties, candy, and spooky fun. Addy stayed with her BFF Madeline, Aidyn with his BFF Aaron, and Avery stayed with John and I in our hotel, but spent every day with her BFF Mia. I got to hang with Olivia most of the weekend and it was fabulous. We mostly let the kids pull us in whatever direction they wanted to go. The Connors went all out and threw Addy and Madi a Halloween party with all of their mutual friends. What a blast! The Hortons held Aaron's bday party on Saturday night (his actual bday is in mid-November) so Aidyn could be there-how amazingly swell is that! Avery got to go to Friday playgroup, and Sue Hafen had a cute little Halloween luncheon for the kids-crafts and all. On Halloween Eve we went trick-or-treating with several of our friends, as families, and it was great. GREAT! Going home was bitter sweet for all of us and we hope to return soon. Love you, KC friends!!! MISS YOU!!!!