Thursday, March 5, 2009

Confessions of a Harried Housewife, Chapter 4 : Proud Parenting Moments

Life is pretty normal here in Stevensville. We had a wonderful 80 something degree day today and the kids made me heat up the hot tub so they could "swim". They seriously played in that thing for 2 hours! Kids. Aren't they great. So I pledged a few postings back to keep up with the funny things my kids say and I've got a couple of goodies in the last week. The first one stems from John's and My self's desires to enrich our children's lives by introducing them to some classic comedies. Your idea of classic may be a lot different then ours. We are teaching them to appreciate movies like "Goonies", "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure", "Tommy Boy", and 2 of John's personal favorites, "Ace Ventura Pet Detective" 1 and 2. We watched these two last weekend and our kids LOVED them, especially Aidyn who is currently trying to master the ever so sexy Ace Ventura walk. They walk around saying "Bumble-Bee Tuna" and "Shicaca" and "All Righty Then" and most people just look at them strangely. I think to myself, "Ahhh, aren't they precious!".
For those of you who are a little shaky on your Ace Ventura trivia, let me refresh your memory with some brief movie facts: In Ace Ventura 1, Ace is trying to find "Snowflake" the Miami Dolphins team mascot, a live Dolphin, who has been kidnapped. In Ace Ventura 2, Ace travels to Africa to find the missing "Shicaca"-an albino bat that is sacred to a tribe that lives there. While he is searching for the Shicaca (I just love saying that) he follows two suspects to a secret meeting in a fake rhino. Yes, a fake rhino. Ace controls the rhino from inside it's body using levers and buttons and when his cooling fan breaks down, he becomes incredibly hot and sweats like a beast. He takes off ALL his clothes, but it's still not enough-he has to get out of the thing. When he tries to open the door, the handle breaks off, so he desperately goes searching for another exit. He finds a tiny hole in the rhino's behind that stretches open the more he pushes and pulls. As he is pushing and pulling his way out of the rhino's arse, a tour shuttle shows up and a family of four steps out.
Mom says, "Look children! The mother rhino is giving birth!"
Everyone else, "ooooooh, ahhhhhhh, Ohhhhhhhh"
They all watch expectantly for several minutes, first in glorious anticipation and then sort of dumbfounded, and finally completely horrified. The mother and daughter are all but puking when Ace plops out on the ground naked and in the fetal position. The camera switches to the boy (approx age 8-10) and with a huge grin on his face, he yells, "COOL!". Yeah, pretty cool. Aidyn thought so, too! In fact, so much so that the following Monday at school, he shared this special scene with his 2nd grade class during sharing time. So proud! He came home that afternoon and said,
"Guess what mom!" and loving that he wanted to tell me something about his day, I put on my biggest interested mommy smile and replied,
"What bud!" and he said,
"Remember that part in Ace Ventura when Ace is stuck in the rhino and he climbs out through the rhino's butt, and the boy says 'cool'?" I'm thinking in my head-where on earth could this possibly be going-so I say,
"Sure that was funny,....and a little disturbing." And Aidyn says,
"It was 'cool' and I shared that with my class during sharing today!" He is very excited and feeling quite pleased with his successful retelling, I can hear it in his voice. I am feeling a little shocked and at the same time trying my hardest not to laugh uncontrollably. I take a deep breath and calmly say,
"Really, wow. How did Ms. Martin like your story?" Aidyn thought for a minute, and then replied,
"Everyone else laughed pretty hard, but Ms. Martin didn't say anything."
Yeah, surprising. I waited the rest of the afternoon for a call from either Ms. Martin or the principal, but luckily, we were in the clear(:

John is out of town this week and yesterday he called while Avery and I were in the car. I talked to him for a few minutes, Avery talked to him for a few minutes, and then we said bye and hung up. A few seconds later, John calls back but when I answer the call, no one's there. I have a ring set for John's calls so I can tell when he calls without having to look at my caller id. Avery recognized his call tone and said, "Mom, did Daddy's butt just call you?" It was seriously awesome. I love that commercial.

Hope Y'all are well and happy!