14 years and nine months ago, I found out I was pregnant. John and I had been married for about 5 months and had our KID FREE first 5 married years mapped out with career building, travel, and newly wed bliss. Shocked and terrified by the "pink line" I went to my doctor's for official confirmation. He confirmed that I was pregnant and about 2 months along. I felt totally unprepared for motherhood. In fact, I wasn't even sure I really liked kids enough to have any of my own. I cried off and on for two weeks with disbelief and frustration. How could this happen? I mean, duh, I knew HOW it happened, I just couldn't believe it happened so fast! John was totally supportive and hyped from the moment he found out. I had no idea he was just as terrified as I was from the beginning because he kept a smile on his face at all times. Not once did he mention anything negative about our turn of events. If John hadn't been such a rock, I am sure there would have been several more weeks of falling apart on my calendar. Not long after John and I were engaged, he told me that when we had kids, if we ever had a girl, he wanted her name to be Addison. I thought that was a beautiful name and agreed right away. When we found out at 20 weeks that our little baby was a girl, we immediately began calling her Addison. My pregnancy was easy. I didn't have any morning sickness or other physical challenges. Yes, the giant belly does get in the way a bit during the 3rd trimester, but that was the extent of my physical discomfort.
During my pregnancy I worked as a loan officer at a bank in Provo, Utah. I decided to work up until Addy was born since I would stay home indefinitely after her birth. The last month of my pregnancy during my lunch break, I would eat my lunch quickly, then take a nap in the break room on the couch. I was sooooo tired. For all the sleep I wasn't getting at night, at least I could make a little up during the work day. A friend of mine that I worked with would call down to the break room and have some one wake me up when my hour was up and it was time to work again. This was by far the most tired I had ever been in my life up to that point.
Two weeks before my due date (which was February 13th, a Friday) I woke up to what felt sort of like wetting the bed. It was around 6am and I remember thinking, "Great. Just Great. I can barely sleep at night with my giant monstrous belly and now I'm wetting myself. Super." Once I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, I realized this was not a bed wetting incident. My water had broken! I was much more calm than I expected. I woke John up and called my doctor who said I needed to head to the hospital. John was a little nervous, but he managed to get us to the hospital without incident. Addy's delivery was quick and easy. When I reached the hospital, I was already dialated enough to have the epideral administered. Once that cocktail was in my system, I felt so good I just wanted to sleep. I remember feeling like I was floating on clouds. Sleep, however, was not on the agenda so I pushed instead. Just before 10am, Addy was born-7 lbs 6 oz. Since she was 2 weeks early, her lungs were slightly underdeveloped and she was wisked away from us momentarily. Once they brought her back and I was able to hold her, I was sure I had never seen anything so beautiful. Until you have a baby of your very own, you don't realize just how much God loves you or how much feeling your heart and soul are capable of. I didn't understand my life's path before Addy. At that moment, looking into her tiny pink face I saw it mapped out before me. From infancy, Addy has retained 3 qualities: constancy, cautiousness, and creativity. She is faithful, independent, kind hearted, and honest to a fault. There is so much good in her. I always tell people that when I grow up, I want to be like her. She is one of God's most impressive creations and I learn from her Christ like example every day. Thank you, God, for these last 14 years. They have been such a blessing. I love you, Addison Lurline!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
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